National Suicide Prevention Week. To those of us in the mental health community, this week is a mixed bag. Yes, recognition of a struggle associated with mental illness is validating. However, when dear people, who I know mean well, post a hotline with a phone number that leads to strangers on the other end, I cringe a bit.
In the midst of trouble of any kind, I am not likely to call a stranger to share my fears or to ask for help. I suppose an exception to this rule is a tow truck company when it’s needed, but otherwise I’m most comfortable asking for help from people who love me. Those who have shown me they love me by walking through uncomfortable bits of my life with me are the people I call when my mind wages war against me. And if that war were to ever lead to a battle for my life, I cannot imagine calling for the help of a stranger in the midst of my fight. Asking for help takes a great deal of strength, and asking for help from a stranger can sometimes feel unbearable when your strength is all used up fighting for your life.
I don’t mean this to say the Suicide Hotline isn’t a wonderful thing. It is! Many people are alive today because of the hotline and I’m extremely grateful for their work. But you know what’s even better than a hotline? Community. Getting right into the middle of someone’s mess and setting up camp. Walking with people when they’re healthy and when they’re sick. Seeking out the hurting and loving them because they’re worthy of love, not because they’re a charity case or because you’re a saint. Love is the healing balm we all need. And a life is more likely to be saved when it knows it has value to people around them.
Is there a perfect equation to preventing suicide? Yes, Jesus. And how does Jesus love?
Ultimately, suicide is a choice and only the person making the choice is in control of what their decision will be. They, and only they, are responsible for their choice. However, Jesus saw many healed, and even raised to life after death, through his compassionate love for them. He walked with the hurting and loved them into healing…he didn’t avoid people experiencing pain and anguish. He devoted himself to people daily, in their mess and in their successes. What if we did the same?
You are made in the image of Christ, and therefore you are chocked-full of ways to offer love to someone who is hurting. And who knows the depth of impact of that love? Though love from a stranger on the other end of a hotline phone call is important and needed and Christ-like by nature, community and choosing daily friendship carries value that cannot be overstated. Today, rather than posting a hotline number with a hashtag and moving on with your life, consider posting YOUR number along side the hotline as another option for those friends of yours hurting. Reach out to your friends and ask questions that lead to vulnerable conversation. Take time with people, and show them their value. Being available to love the person in front of you may free up the suicide hotline for someone else, out of your scope of reach, to get the help they need.